Momentaufnahme
Somehow I have to write for days, the desire to. But I do not quite know what, so I just tell what is going on right now with me.
the last days I was not at school, because I feel very bad and I have a headache. These days I've spent essentially in bed with my cat. Have alittle bit read, learned a little, Two and a half men looked to the end (seven seasons in a half months, I can not see these faces) ... the usual stuff. And I've again seen Baise-moi. I do not know how many times I've seen this movie before. I love him a little. I've also been
Irreversible and The 120 Days of Sodom seen. The former is m. E. Baise-moi comparable only to that violence and sex scenes are not so easily seen as glorifying (ie they are different in scene), the latter has disturbed me a little. But 's important film, I find, as it were science fiction set in the past. It was not to be so, but it could have been and could be in the circumstances in the future.
Scholastically it goes slightly uphill. Do so, I am the last months can go a lot. No homework or study materials thereby to have to take no argument and not to learn is quite normal for me, just like writing work, save in can be assessed in German and English better than ever with a four. This is now for years. I'm not even a pencil case, I'll always just a block and a pencil to school. I came also chronically late the last few months and have thus attracted more attention than anyway. My class teacher is also called here, but because he was not the first. He has also tried to hold talks with me, but I always just said, I would not talk to him. He has also offered to me, giving me perhaps is a personal advice. I expect him to high, but I did not stop.
My chemistry teacher had already spoken with me, but that is some time ago, it was near the beginning the school year. He did not know us, we have once had in class, and was the representative for Latin. We had responsibilities and I have not done, on his demand even I thought I could not do that. He was pretty annoyed and said something like this that I would not be added to this position, would get no degree, and ultimately would be unemployed or something. He was right. Meanwhile, I have resigned myself that I should just expect it. Displacement is at risk and my posture is getting worse from year to year. At the time I was still really scared of what was probably the reason why I started blubbering's and left the room. A. He has a girlfriend of me, behind is sent, after a few minutes, however, complied with themselves, they fell into the classroom and he has contacted me in the recreation hall in order to converse with me. He has apologized very often. It felt a bit uncomfortable because I have not regretted my reaction very much. He suggested that I have any heavier, deeper problems and worked hard to help me somehow. He has also asked weeks later, as I am. I could not really say anything because I can only name current problems, and I just had none. With him is so created the impression that I did not want to talk to him. I wonder for years what I'm missing really. I do not think it's the hormones. Others my age have not either.
I recently read that from how you feel, about one-eighth is visible from the outside. I think if I do not have a specific problem, I feel even more than one-sixteenth. I've noticed is that I'm easily irritated, I Baise-moi watch and twittering nonsense. But I do not feel wirklch. (Unless, of course, when I yell at people who annoy me. But it takes also do not last forever.)
I have cleaned up after nearly five months of my bed again. That's good, now I can lie down stretched out again. Tomorrow I'm probably going to school. I am not better, but I can not ever stay at home. Mother said I should go to the doctor, but I have not done it because I know he will not find anything. Doctors can find nothing in three years when they examine me. No matter how they examine me. There is nothing.
I stress with H: I do not know exactly what happened, but it must be very hard because he no longer speaks to me. That is, although I know what happened between us. It is somewhat complicated. But his reaction I can not explain his behavior. It makes no sense. As I said, it is somewhat complicated. I'd tell it willingly, but I do not know if I can. I promised him not to do it. Moreover will not I, that charged me so much that I even want to talk about it. I do not think he is important to me. Finally, it also applies to anyone else.
have I also had an argument apparently with A.. I can almost ERKA me less, but I am interested much less. Almost never actually. I think it had to happen eventually, because we have evolved so differently. We know for seven years. I think they are very superficial. She knows it and she denies. No one is too happy that he has poor properties. By H.
does it now for two months, Sun These two situations mean that the rest of the people - two - no longer really speaks to me because they know me really just about the two. One of them has had to put in recently chemistry to me. That we actually sit side by side, he sits conspicuously far away from me, also speaks more to the rows behind us, where H. is sitting. I am not injured. It occurs to me only. In addition, Luke has
now a problem with me. But I can explain to me. I was a little hard on him. He tends much to teachers at rumzuschleimen (Well, he would both teachers and pupils arg being targeted, but he can from) and seems to pay much attention to fancy that he in the Youth Parliament and is in the student council. I'm not the only one who noticed that. I said to him, among other things, that it is not important. With these words. Did not he great Sun
He is not angry, he's really hurt. I know that even if he is angry. Then he tried again, a diss to a maximum return. But he quickly comes across it. This is not the case. I've already tried to apologize to him, but he will not listen.
Hmm. End of story one is that I seem to have no friends left. Happened. I wonder if H. still starts. We are sitting in one of the four Latin rooms next to each other. I see's it coming, at some point he will bring his Latin stuff just so he can ignore me as well. (He looks at me with otherwise clean.) * *
think about I think that was about all that I could tell Sun Nothing really special then, but now I have even written what. Hope this satisfies my need first.
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